Grandpa Frohardt Remembered

Me & my Grandpa Frohardt, April 2012

My grandfather recently passed away unexpectedly.   Granted, he was 88 but it was still a shock.  I always thought he’d be around into his 90s.  And I wanted that for him; I wanted him to have a few more good years.    I am fortunate to have been able to spend time with him (visiting as often as I could and calling him regularly.)  I know most people don’t get to know their grandparents that well or have them taken away from them much too soon.   I am grateful for the relationship we had and that I got to know him as an adult.  I was asked to speak at the funeral and thought I would share that here……..

I’m Penelope, the oldest granddaughter and there are a couple things you should know about my Grandpa Frohardt.

The first thing that pops into my head is PROUD.   Grandpa was a very proud man and he was extremely proud of his family.   He would always mention how lucky he was and how not all families make an effort to get together with each other or get along so great.   He truly took great pride in his family and would light up when talking about them. 

Now this doesn’t mean that he didn’t embellish a little bit.  For example he would introduce his pharmacist granddaughter as a doctor and he credited his grandson Daniel with creating the Internet.    When I had lunch with him a few weeks ago he introduced me as a famous writer from Minneapolis with a husband that owns a big computer company.   Neither of which are quite true but it is always good to dream and play along.    My favorite example of his “pride” is when the family all went out to dinner at a local steak house and Grandpa pulled the hostess aside and said “you’re going to see a lot of really good looking folks in here tonight – that’s my family.” 

He was also known for his one-liners, for example – “I try to improve a little everyday, but it's hard to improve on perfection,” and “I’m already working on my second million – I gave up on my first.” 

Grandpa was such a sweet and caring man.  He liked to make sure everything and everyone was taken care of.    This truly shined when he cared for grandma after her stroke.   He was always by her side and catered to all of her needs, including taking on the domestic duties such as the cooking – which was interesting to say the least.    It was sweet to see him take on that role and embrace it with a smile on his face.  Even if he did mix mushroom soup with salsa for a dinner treat.     

He was a polite man and had the best manners.  He would always stand when a woman entered a room and would never walk in front of them.    Even later when he wasn’t supposed to, he couldn’t resist the urge to spring up to greet you.    He was the ultimate gentleman.

He also had a voracious appetite.   I remember him saying that he had room in his big toe for that second piece of pie.   I will definitely say that appetite is one thing I inherited from him, combine that with the sweet tooth I got from grandma and all I can say is that it is a good thing I work out.  

He was quite the charmer.  Always full of compliments, he regularly greeted the ladies in his life with “hi beautiful” or “hey good lookin.”

He had the best laugh and sense of humor.   A couple months ago when I was visiting, he and I were cracking up for about 5 minutes.   For the life of me, I can’t remember what had us in uncontrollable belly laughs – with tears.   I guess the reason doesn’t really matter, it was a great memory to see him laughing so hard and to be laughing along with him.    Robin described him as a joyful man and I couldn’t agree more.   He really appreciated the simple pleasures in life and found joy in everything, especially his family. 

And how can we forget his ability to chat with anyone about anything – for hours!  This was evidenced in the many times we would lose him in the grocery store or just out and about.  He’d wonder off and chat with complete strangers about any topic.  

He was also quite the story teller.  I remember him starting his sentences with “say, did I tell you about this one time…..”    He usually pulled his glass down a bit to make direct eye contact while telling it.   It was an endearing quality.   

I will miss his laugh, his stories, his hugs, his two different colored eyes, and him just being him.

Grandpa will be remembered fondly by our family and his characteristics live on in many of us.   Our memories, guidance, and experiences have shaped us into the individuals and family that we are.    And I have to say that I think the grandkids turned out pretty well - if I do say so myself.   Seriously, I am so proud, lucky, and grateful to be part of the Frohardt family; grandpa and grandma really laid a great foundation and if even in their passing they are our pillars.  They will be missed terribly but remembered regularly.

Great Memories On the Farm: Grandpa, me, and my sister - Chelley  

Book Review: The Happiness Project

I just finished reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.   It is kind of a self-help book in that it gets you thinking about your own happiness and how to improve it.  It is also kind of written as a journal in which you get to follow Rubin’s quest for happiness during a one-year period.  

For a happiness project, you start out by identifying what brings you joy and satisfaction; and also what brings you guilt, anger, boredom, and remorse.   From there you make resolutions, where you identify concrete actions that will boost your happiness.  Then you try to keep your resolutions.   In the book the 12 chapters are broken into 12 months in which Rubin picks a different “resolution” for each month.  The chapters (i.e. resolutions she chose to focus on are as follows:

1)      January – Boost Energy; Vitality

2)      February – Remember Love; Marriage

3)      March – Aim Higher; Work

4)      April – Lighten Up; Parenthood

5)      May – Be Serious About Play; Leisure

6)      June – Make Time for Friends; Friendship

7)      July – Buy Some Happiness; Money

8)      August – Contemplate the Heavens; Eternity

9)      September – Pursue a Passion; Books

10)   October – Pay Attention; Mindfulness

11)  November – Keep a Contented Heart; Attitude

12)  December – Boot Camp Perfect; Happiness

There is a little more that goes into it, such as coming up with your own 12 Commandments and Secrets of Adulthood that to are designed to help you keep your resolutions.   An example of a Commandment would be: lighten up.   An example of a Secret of Adulthood would be: people don’t notice your mistakes as much as you do, or if you’re not failing, you’re not trying hard enough.

The book is really well written and interesting as it kept me interested in reading about her one-year experience and the research that went into it, and had me consciously thinking about my own happiness.   Most people aren’t as happy as they could/should be.  I’m sure most people would probably say they are happy but, hey, couldn’t we all be happier?  Working on your happiness not only makes you happier, it boosts the happiness of the people around you.  Happiness is contagious.  

Here are some thoughts and thought-provoking ideas from the book that I thought were helpful to put things in perspective:

• Implement a one-minute rule; don’t postpone anything that can be done in less than one minute.  
• What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while.
• Whatever love you feel in your heart, others will only see in actions.
• Advice from her grandparents (married 72 years): Married couples should have an outdoor game (golf, tennis, etc..) and an indoor game (Scrabble, gin, etc..) that they play together.
• A sense of purpose is very important to happiness.
• Happiness has four stages.  To eke the most happiness from an experience, we must anticipate it, savor it as it unfolds, express happiness, and recall a happy memory.  
• Create a positive mood.   Don’t focus on the negative.   In a long line that is not moving?  Don’t focus on the negative, create a positive spin.   For example, you now have some time to check up on emails on your phone.   
• The days are long, but the years are short.
• One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy.  Conversely, one of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself. 
• Nonjoyous types of people suck energy and cheers from the joyous ones; they rely on the joyous types to buoy them with their good spirit and to cushion their agitation and anxiety.   At the same time, because of a dark element in human nature, nonjoyous types are sometimes provoked to try to shake the enthusiastic, cheery folk out of their fog of illusion – to make them see that the play was stupid, the money was wasted, the meeting was pointless, etc.   Instead of shielding their joy, they blast it.  
• You can usually make your point, even if it is negative, in a positive way.  
• Within a marriage, it takes at least five good acts to repair the damage of one critical or destructive act.
• There is a significant difference between a resolution and a goal.   You hit a goal, you keep a resolution.  Goals are specific and easy to measure, and once you’ve done it, you’ve done it (for example running a marathon).   Resolutions (such as singing in the morning or exercise better) are something you resolve to do every day; resolutions continue.

Rubin’s research taught her many things that I found interesting.  Here are some of the highlights of her research:

• The most important element to happiness is having strong social bonds.    
• Happy people are more altruistic, more productive, more helpful, more likable, more creative, more resilient, more interested in others, friendlier, and healthier.
• Hug for at least six seconds; which is the minimum time necessary to promote the flow of mood-boosting chemicals that promote bonding.
• One of the best ways to lift your mood is to engineer an easy success, such as tackling a long-delayed chore.
• A good marriage is one of the factors most strongly associated with happiness.
• It isn’t the goal attainment but the process of striving after goals – that is growth – that brings happiness.
• Both men and women prefer to gossip to women because women are more satisfying listeners. 
• Gratitude is important to happiness.  Grateful people are happier and more satisfied with their lives; they even feel more physically healthy and exercise more.
• Mindfulness (the cultivation of conscious, nonjudgemental awareness) brings many benefits.   It calms the mind and elevates brain function, it gives clarity and vividness to present experience, it may help people break unhealthy habits, and it can soothe troubled spirits and lift people’s moods.  It reduces stress and chronic pain.  It makes people happier, less defensive, and more engaged with others.  
• A typical child typically laughs more than 400 times each day, and adult – 17 times.

Although I’m not a parent, I thought her parenting chapter was great.  She also highly recommends two books for parents: 1) Siblings without Rivalry, and 2) How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk.

Rubin addresses the age-old question: can money buy happiness?   The answer she comes up with is: no.  Money alone can’t buy happiness.   But money, if used wisely, can help buy happiness.   She states that it’s a mistake to assume that money will affect everyone the same way and identifies three factors that she feels shapes the significance of money to individuals: 1) it depends on what kind of person you are, 2) it depends on how you spend your money, and 3) it depends on how much money you have relative to the people around you and relative to your own experience.    Makes sense to me.    She takes it a step further in saying, “when money or health is a problem, you think of little else; when it’s not a problem, you don’t think much about it.”  I thought her comparing it to health was a great way to put it into perspective.   “Being healthy doesn’t guarantee happiness; lots of healthy people are very unhappy.”

At the back of the book, she has a couple of different tips for different things (how to stick to a schedule of regular exercise, how to be a more light-hearted parent, how to get an energy boost in the next 10 minutes, etc…)   Here are her seven tips for making someone like you: 1) smile; 2) be easily impressed; entertained and interested; 3) have a friendly, open, engaged demeanor, 4) remember trait transfer (whatever you say about other people shapes the way people see you); 5) laugh at yourself; 6) radiate energy and good humor; and 7) show your liking for another person. 

While, I haven’t written out a plan for a happiness project for myself yet, I have tried to incorporate some of the principals and ideas I learned into my own in life.

I highly recommend this book, it is an easy read that keeps you coming back.  And it is a really good motivator to get you thinking about your own happiness.  Most people wait for a crisis to hit before they decide to make some major changes.  I like that this book takes a proactive approach.   It is important to stop going through the motions of life and really embrace it and make it what you want to be.  I can’t think of a better state of mind than happy.

Cheers!

 

FYI – Rubin also has a website and blog to tips to get started with your own happiness project.  Check it out here: http://www.happiness-project.com/

Organ Donation

I’ve been reading a book called The Happiness Project, and the author’s husband has Hepetitis C.  In an effort to feel like she playing an active role in doing something to support her husband disease (there is a chance he could need a liver transplant at some point) she decided to get involved with the Organ Donor Network.  

It got me thinking that I’ve never really considered organ donation and that it is something that I think is a great thing.  There are 112,657 patients out there waiting for a transplant.   I think it is kind of a no-brainer.   If there comes a point where I no longer need my organs, it makes sense to donate them to someone else who could really use them.   If I could save a life, then that seems like a really important decision.  

After I signed up, I was encouraged to send this out to my family and friends.  “Today I made a commitment to help others through the gifts of organ and tissue donation. There are many people in our community waiting for the life-saving gift of a transplant and I am proud to be able to help them. I hope you too will decide to share the gift of life through donation and tell your loved ones. You can log onto www.DonateLife.net to get the facts about donation and register today.”

I encourage you to at least consider it.   

Resolutions 2012

Well it is a New Year and time for a new set of goals.    I’m sure I couple keep adding to this list but figured I better post it before I get carried away.   

• Eat more fish. I love fish and need to make it more often.  Plus, it is good for you.
• Eat less processed foods.   I need fresh, homemade food in my life.  
• Make new recipes out of my cookbooks.   I have so many cookbooks and rarely cook any recipes out of them.  If I try a new recipe it is usually one I ripped out of a magazine or saw online.  Time to go “old school.”
• Take more people photos.   I take a lot of food photos and forget to take photos of the people eating it.   I also need to do a better job of keeping up with my photos on a monthly basis (posting and sharing).
• Learn to use the settings on my camera.   This is an embarrassing one as it has been on my list before.   I have some mental block or something when it comes to getting my camera off of auto.  Seriously, I need to learn everything my camera can offer.  There are some awesome photos to be had.
• Live in the moment.   I need to enjoy the moment as it is happening.   I need to relax and focus.   Sometimes I get caught up and distracted by things I should be doing, forgot to do, or need to do and forget to just enjoy the moment I am in.
• Listen.  Like the above comment, I have a lot going on in my head and I find myself only half listening sometimes.  I need to give people my undivided attention.  
• Speak up.  The flip side of listening is to speak up and communicate better.   I need to open up more when something is on my mind.  I tend to keep my mouth shut to keep the peace but I’ve learned that in the end that doesn’t do anyone any good and usually can escalate the situation.   
• Multi-task less.  Don’t get me wrong, I am the ultimate multi-tasker, but I have so many projects going on that I wonder why I can’t anything done.  Well, I need to focus on one task at a time and finish before I start something else.   How nice will it feel to start crossing things off the list rather than having several open-ended things going on at once.  I think there is a theme emerging here….
• Wear more lingerie (sorry Mom).   I think it will make me feel pretty, sexy, and confident.  (And hopefully mu husband will think so too.)  
• Stretch more.   Not ready to commit to the yoga word but I certainly do need to stretch more.   I’m going to start with a goal of one day a week, even though I should really be doing it daily.  Baby steps.
• Don’t sweat the small stuff.  I need to stop stressing over things that are out of my control.  No more sleepless nights.
• Read more books.   I get overwhelmed by my magazine pile and tend to read those first, but because it is a never-ending pile I never get to my book pile.   I need to start balancing out the books and the magazines and let go of some of my magazine subscriptions.  
• Network.  I used to be a master networker back in the day (gosh that makes me sound old) and I’ve kind of gotten lazy.  I need to get back out there and expand my network.   After all, I love meeting new people and who knows what opportunities might open up.   

I am going to try to check in with my goals at the end of every month to see how I’m doing.   I’m hoping to not let these fizzle out as the year goes on.   Wish me luck.

What are your New Year resolutions or goals?  Talk to me…..

Thought of the Day

I read this somewhere last week and it has stuck in my head.

"Ignoring the facts doesn't change the facts."

Something to think about........  

Changes

Well, I’ve decided to change the focus of this blog back to my original goal.   Originally, I wanted it to be more of a personal blog, kind of an online journal of sorts with a variety of topics.   Well, as you can tell it has turned a little food focused.   I’m not saying it is a bad thing; after all my life tends to revolve around food.   But I want to get this blog back to it original roots and see where it takes me in that respect.   But, don’t worry change is good; I've decided to start a separate food blog.    Check it out here:  www.penelopethefoodie.com

Yes, I am going to try to maintain three blogs.  

1) A personal/fun one (http://livelearnanddrinkwine.blogspot.com)

2) A food one (www.penelopethefoodie.com)

3) A sparkling wine one  (http://blog.thesparklingqueen.com) 

Check them all out monthly!   You can also subscribe to each one so you are alerted when there is a new post.    Cheers!

    

My First (and last) Brazilian Blowout

I got my first Brazilian blowout this week.  

I know friends that have gotten them and loved them and when I saw a Groupon for one, I couldn’t resist.   (I’m a Groupon addict.)   And, I would never pay the full $250 price for a blowout.   I decided to try it because I have very thick hair with a natural wave to it that takes forever to blow dry and style.  If I want to straighten it, I have to add on another 30-40 minutes to my get-ready time.   So, I was excited at the prospect of smooth straight hair for up to 2 months.  

As the original Brazilian blowout promises “Through the use of a Brazilian Super Nutrient Complex and a proprietary polymer system, the Brazilian Blowout actually improves the condition of the hair by creating a protective protein layer around the hair shaft to eliminate frizz and smooth the cuticle.”

Q. What kind of look will you get from the Brazilian Blowout?
A. The hair will be left totally frizz-free, shiny, effortlessly manageable and with plenty of body and bounce. There will still be the option to wear hair curly/wavy (depending on the hair type) and the freedom to blow dry hair smooth and straight in a fraction of the time invested prior to receiving the treatment.

Q. Is the Brazilian Blowout going to make my hair straight?
A. If your hair is wavy, the Brazilian Blowout will make your hair appear naturally straight and healthy. If your hair is very curly, it will minimize frizz while enhancing the appearance of the natural wave/curl. If you have straight, frizzy hair, this treatment will eliminate frizz and promote radiant shine.

I had heard it could take more than two hours but it actually took less than an hour, and I have a lot of hair.   My stylist was kind of crabby so it actually was kind of uncomfortable.    When I got there she washed my hair aggressively (as in it hurt) and then when it was wet she combed a chemical through it, blow dried it, and then flat ironed it.   Apparently the heat of the flat iron is what seals the chemical in.   

I was told it would last longer if I wash my hair less often (not a problem for me as I usually wash my hair every other day) and if I buy the special shampoo and conditioner – for $70!  

I wasn’t sure what to tip her because the original price was $250 but it took her less than an hour?  She was also crabby and it wasn’t that pleasant of an experience.  I settled on $20 and still feel like it was too much.   I also felt like I "had" to buy the shampoo and conditioner.   Which I did, but later returned it when I found it on amazon.com for $50 for both.  

Total cost: $75 Groupon + $20 tip + $50 shampoo and conditioner = $145

Verdict

Now that I’ve washed it I can’t really tell a difference.   My hair does not “appear naturally straight and healthy.”  I will definitely have to spend time flat ironing it to get the look I had when I left the salon. 

I would not do it again.   I don’t think it was worth the cost.  And now that I’ve done a bit more research (which I should’ve done before) it turns out that the FDA warns against it citing dangerously high levels of formaldehyde. (http://www.webmd.com/healthy-beauty/news/20110907/fda-brazilian-blowout-hair-straightener-is-dangerous)

And after further research on the Original Brazilian Blowout site, I found this…… 

WHAT TO EXPECT: When you arrive at the salon, the process is as follows.

1. Stylist will shampoo your hair with the Brazilian Blowout specially formulated Anti-Residue; Professional Shampoo to prepare your hair for the optimal smoothing result.
2. After towel drying, your certified Brazilian Blowout stylist will divide your hair into sections and begin to comb the Brazilian Blowout Professional Treatment through each section of the hair from root to tip; lightly dusting each section with the solution.
3. Solution will surround each hair shaft with protective protein layers to smooth and flatten the cuticle.
4. Stylist will then blow-dry your hair as straight as possible with a flat or round brush.
5. Once the hair is dry, the Stylist will divide the hair into four sections and begin using a flat iron to further straighten the hair in 2-3 inch sections.
6. Once complete, the Stylist will rinse the hair (no shampoo), towel-dry and apply the Brazilian Blowout Masque to further seal in the professional formulation. After 60 seconds, the stylist will rinse the hair once again and towel dry.
7. The Stylist will then apply the Brazilian Blowout Smoothing Serum to further seal the cuticle and assist in detangling the hair prior to the final blow dry.
8. The Stylist will then blow dry the hair straight one final time and style as desired.

You will leave the salon in approximately 90 minutes with beautiful, smooth, healthy radiant hair!  (http://www.brazilianblowout.com/bb_original)

Well, my cranky stylist never did the last 3 steps (6-8)!   No wonder it was so quick!   I just wrote a note to the salon asking for an explanation.   I will let you know if I hear back.    I’m seriously NOT happy.  

Update:  I sent the salon a friendly note telling them that my experience was not quite up to par and asking for an explanation why the last 3 steps were not followed.    I got a response within three hours:

"Thank you so much for letting us know about your experience, and we do apologize that you were not happy with your service. Due to the fact that everyone at the salon is self employed, I wanted you to know that I forwarded your email to Kelly and informed her that I was sending this email to you, and for her to contact you to rectify the situation. Again, our apologies and we hope to see you in our salon again sometime!"

I was impressed by the responsiveness and will let you know if I hear from the stylist.    

UPDATE:  I never did hear from the stylist and after 2-3 weeks went by I let the salon know that I hadn't heard from her and go no response.   I also had major hair breakage.   I will not be getting a Brazilian Blowout ever again, and I will certainly never go to Salon Intrigue (Minneapolis) again.